certainty

Naturally, we are inclined to be so mathematical and calculating that we look upon uncertainty as a bad thing... Certainty is the mark of the common-sense life; gracious uncertainty is the mark of spiritual life. To be certain of God means that we are uncertain in all our ways, we do not know what a day may bring forth. This is generally said with a sigh of sadness; it should rather be an expression of breathless expectation.

“O that I knew where I might find him!”

“O that I knew where I might find him!”

- Job_23:3

In Job’s uttermost extremity he cried after the Lord. The longing desire of an afflicted child of God is once more to see his Father’s face. His first prayer is not “O that I might be healed of the disease which now festers in every part of my body!” nor even “O that I might see my children restored from the jaws of the grave, and my property once more brought from the hand of the spoiler!” but the first and uppermost cry is, “O that I knew where I might find HIM, who is my God! that I might come even to his seat!” God’s children run home when the storm comes on. It is the heaven-born instinct of a gracious soul to seek shelter from all ills beneath the wings of Jehovah. “He that hath made his refuge God,” might serve as the title of a true believer. A hypocrite, when afflicted by God, resents the infliction, and, like a slave, would run from the Master who has scourged him; but not so the true heir of heaven, he kisses the hand which smote him, and seeks shelter from the rod in the bosom of the God who frowned upon him. Job’s desire to commune with God was intensified by the failure of all other sources of consolation. The patriarch turned away from his sorry friends, and looked up to the celestial throne, just as a traveller turns from his empty skin bottle, and betakes himself with all speed to the well. He bids farewell to earth-born hopes, and cries, “O that I knew where I might find my God!” Nothing teaches us so much the preciousness of the Creator, as when we learn the emptiness of all besides. Turning away with bitter scorn from earth’s hives, where we find no honey, but many sharp stings, we rejoice in him whose faithful word is sweeter than honey or the honeycomb. In every trouble we should first seek to realize God’s presence with us. Only let us enjoy his smile, and we can bear our daily cross with a willing heart for his dear sake.

The Tragedy of Renounced Service

Demas…my fellowlabourer— Phm_1:24.
Demas— Col_4:14
Demas hath forsaken me, having loved this present world— 2Ti_4:10
The Downfall of Demas
The disloyalty of Demas has had a strange grip upon the minds of men. It has appealed to the imagination. The fact that we know nothing of him save in these three texts, his presence in the little company that moves in and out of Paul's imprisonment—these glimpses have arrested men and drawn their thoughts to Demas as to someone mysterious and elusive. Then conjecture has been rife as to the ways in which he loved this present world. Was it lucre that tempted him, as Bunyan thought, or just the pressure of the lower standards? On such things we cannot dogmatize, for the apostle does not give us details; he did not expatiate on things that hurt him. All the same, it seems to me that we do know a little about Demas. These three references, put in their right order, surely betray something of the man—not, of course, of how the world allured him, for that must rest forever hidden, but of the gradual declension of his life. The chronology of the Epistles is not certain, but on many points there is a large agreement. Philemon was written earlier than Colossians and Second Timothy a great deal later. May we not trace, then, in this triple reference something of the soul-history of Demas that ended in such pitable fashion?
An Overcomer as Long as He Served with Paul
In the first reference Demas is described as one of the apostle's fellow-workers. He was one of that company of eager toilers to whom we owe the spreading of the faith. From the fact that he went away to Thessalonica, we might infer that he was a Thessalonian. Backsliders are like dying exiles, they begin craving for the familiar places. Demas, then, would be one of the early fruits of the apostle's visit to that European city, and the fruit, for long, was sweet to the taste. Demas was not content to confess Christ. He must serve and be a fellow-worker. He must do something for the Lord who saved him and for the apostle whom he loved so well. And it seems to me that so long as he was serving he found himself raised above the world: so long as he was serving he was safe. Men talk of the joy and liberty of service, and there are multitudes who have known the truth of that. But there are many who have never realized the spiritual strengthening of service. Christian service is like other work in that it helps to keep our besetting sins at bay, and in drearier hours saves us from ourselves. So was it, I believe, with Demas. He was kept as long as he was serving. He was master of all his timidity's and cravings in the years when he was laboring with Paul. The earliest reference to Demas, full of affection and of gratitude, is "Demas, my fellow-worker."
His Apostasy Began with His Cessation of Service
Then the years pass and he is named again—but this time he is not a fellow-worker. All that we hear in the letter to Colossae is the one word Demas. He is still the companion of the great apostle; but he is not the fellow-laborer now. He seems to have grown weary in the service; perhaps he was disappointed in the fruits of it. He had been dreaming that he would change the world with the magnificent message of the Christ, and Rome was pretty much where he had found it. So far he had not swerved in his personal loyalty to Paul. He loved him. He owed his life to him. There was nothing he enjoyed more than to listen to him. But he did not love to preach now as he used to do nor to go out and brave the ridicule of crowds nor to give himself to the training of the young. Had you told Demas that the day was coming when he would desert his spiritual father, he would have indignantly repudiated the calumny. Yet anyone who knows the human heart knows that he was on the highway to apostasy from the hour that he ceased to be a fellow-laborer. No man can cease to serve without good reason and yet maintain unimpaired the older loyalties. When the spirit of willing service goes, all the enthusiasms begin to die. Prayer is stinted, criticism enters, churchgoing becomes very intermittent, and slowly the whole character is changed. Paul, with his fine delicacy, does not hint at this. He does not exclude Demas from the greetings. But he is perfectly conscious of the change and of the possibilities involved in it. Once (and he wrote it with a grateful heart) it was Demas, my fellow-worker. Now it is simply Demas.
His Return to Thessalonica: No Service, No Prayer, No Fellowship
And then the years go by, the bitter dragging years, and once again we have the name of Demas. And with a great ache in his heart, Paul has to write, "Demas hath forsaken me." It was not in the least a sudden thing. Paul had long foreseen that it was coming. The vessel had been straining at its moorings, and the cable had been gradually fraying. Idle, not serving as he used to do, no longer forgetting everything in labor, Demas was unequal to the strain. It all began when Demas ceased to serve and, ceasing to serve, also ceased to pray. All he had given up began to claim him then. The old life became intensely vivid. And the tragedy is that, going back to it, it never could content his heart again after the glory that had come—and gone. Paul was not only sorry for himself. He was a thousand times sorrier for Demas. He knew the disappointment and unrest that awaited him in the old familiar scenes. I think the tear of an infinite regret would blot the parchment as he wrote, "Demas hath forsaken me, having loved this present world."

unrequited love

Love so amazing

Yet unrequited

Stupefyingly besotting

Love unreciprocated

Oh how long

Feeling abnegated

Always longing

Hearts turned

To praising

That love requited, finally.

THE FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT--SELF-CONTROL

"Every man that striveth for the mastery is temperate in all things. Now they do it to obtain a corruptible crown; but we an incorruptible.-- 1Co_9:25.

IN HIS early life Paul must have been keen on sport! He uses the phrases for the gymnast, the boxer, and the racer. He had probably stood, many times, watching the great games, which were held in various parts of the Greek-speaking world. He knew the long and arduous training through which competitors had to pass.
Paul was running a race for an imperishable wreath. He had no doubt as to his goal, and therefore did not run uncertainly. He went straight as an arrow to its mark, and his mark was to win souls for Christ. To gain some, to save some, was his passion (1Co_9:22). He needed to discipline himself, putting aside much that was innocent in itself, and which others could enjoy without reproach (Rom_14:13-21). The Apostle was also engaged in a boxing-match, his own body being the antagonist. He knew that spiritual power existed for his appropriation in Christ, but to have it he must be a spiritual man, and to be that necessitated the subdual of his fleshly appetites.
We must exercise "self-reverence, self-knowledge, self-control." It is best to hand over the whole of our nature to the Master, and ask Him to direct, control, suggest each day whatever we think, or do, or say. It is infinitely happier to be Christ-controlled than self-controlled. Happy are they who from the earliest are able to subordinate the delights of sense, however innocent, to some high quest of the spirit. The soldier has to forfeit many things which are legitimate for the civilian, because he must be able to march rapidly from place to place. He has to forego the use of many comforts, but he is compensated if his name is placed on the honours list. The husbandman has to submit to hardships of weather, and to encounter difficulties and discomforts which do not occur in the lives of others; but there is no other way if he is to procure the fruits of his toil. These deny themselves for lower considerations, but we have an infinitely higher object in view; but by so much the more should we lay aside every weight. Never forget Jesus Christ, risen from the dead, your great Exemplar and Life-giver--the source of all spiritual power.

Unconscious Ministries

And the prisoners heard them— Act_16:25
An Unconscious Ministry in Music
Strangers in a strange city, Paul and Silas had very violent treatment. They were seized and, without semblance of a trial, were thrust into the inner prison. It was a gloomy and miserable place and might have appalled the spirits of the bravest. Men had been known in that dark cell to curse and some, in black despair, to kill themselves. But never, since these walls had been embattled, had any prisoner been known to sing there, and yet at midnight Paul and Silas sang. It was dark, and yet all bright to them. It was exceeding loathsome, and yet beautiful. Stone walls did not a prison make for them, nor iron bars a cage. And so they sang like the lark at heaven's gate— although for them it was a prison-gate— and as they sang, the prisoners heard them. Probably some of these prisoners became Christians afterwards. It was they who told the story to the Church: told how at dead of night, dull and despairing— hark the sound of music. And one would recall how it held his hand from suicide, and another how it revived his hope, and another perhaps how it brought back the memory of his mother and his childhood and his home. Of all that service the men who sang knew nothing They were totally unconscious of such ministry. They sang because Christ was with them and was cheering them. They sang because they could not help but sing And all the time, although they never dreamed of it, they were serving others better than they knew, touching old tenderness, reviving courage, making it easier to suffer and be strong
We All Exercise Unconscious Ministries
Now something of that kind we all are doing We all of us exercise unconscious ministries. When we never dream we are affecting anybody, we are touching and turning others all the time. We fret, and others feel our fretting, though never a syllable has passed our lips. We play the game, and just because we play it, folk we have never heard of play it better. We sing at midnight because God is with us and will never leave us nor forsake us, and prisoners in other cells are cheered. One of our writers, a man of genius— yet a man whose moral character was vile— has told us how, when in the grip of shame, somebody took off his hat to him. It was only a custom of familiar courtesy— the instinctive action of a gentleman— yet to him it was a gleam of heaven in his hell. We never know what we are doing when we do it. Our tiniest actions are touched to freest issues. Like Faithful, in the Valley of the Shadow, we lift up our voice because our heart is strong. And some poor Christian, stumbling on behind us on his way also to the Celestial City, thanks God and takes courage at the music. Be quite sure that the very humblest life is full of beneficent unconscious ministries. There is not a note of song we ever raise but the ear of some other prisoner will catch it. Words that we utter and then quite forget—a smile in passing— the clasp of hands in comradeship— have got their work in God's strange world to do and will meet us in the rosy-fingered dawn.
The Ministry of Happiness
This unconscious human helpfulness is one of the chiefest ministries of happiness. Happiness is sometimes selfishness; but happiness is also sometimes service. He who resolves at all costs to be happy is generally a very miserable person. In this wide world the things we set our hearts on are so often the things we never get. But when anyone is genuinely happy, with a heart at leisure from itself, then happiness is unconscious benediction. One of the most beautiful poems of Robert Browning is a wonderful thing that he calls Pippa Passes. It is a story of murder and of guilt, portrayed with the passion and the truth of genius. And then below the house of all this vileness where vows are treachery and kisses shame, in the exquisite summer morning, Pippa passes. She is only an innocent girl, supremely happy, and because she is happy, as she goes she sings. She has no thought of doing good to anybody. She is quite oblivious of listeners. And yet that simple song of girlish happiness, entering the open casement of the house, comes with the very ministry of heaven. Happiness will sometimes do what bitterest reproach can never do. The man who can sing at midnight because God is with him is doing something for others all the time. To be happy— to be serene and radiant— when the shadows deepen and the cross is heavy is one of the finest of life's unconscious ministries.
The Influence of Children
A similar unconscious service is the sweet and tender helpfulness of childhood. Childhood never dreams that it is helping, yet its benedictions are incalculable. A well-known writer has told us that after anxious days he completed a certain book he had in hand. It had cost him much laborious research, and now it was completed. And all the joy of that completed toil, he tells us, was nothing to the gladness he experienced in the pattering footsteps of some little children whom he had taught to love him. Do you remember what they wrote upon the tombstone of a little girl who had gone home? They wrote her name and then beneath it this— It was easier to be good while she was with us. And that is what little ones are always doing— they are making it easier to be good. How many a man has been true to what is pure through the constraining influence of his children. How many a selfish heart has grown considerate when the mystery of motherhood has come. Those eyes of innocence, those pattering feel those lips that are only still when they are sleeping, have done more to beautify and bless the world than all the legislation of the sages. There is no more real ministry than that, and the wonderful thing is it is unconscious. No child awakens on a summer morning and says, "Today I am going to be a blessing" He is a blessing and he never knows it. He plays in the marketplace and Christ is gladdened. He sings like Paul because he cannot help it— and the prisoners hear.
The Service of Passivity
The same unconscious ministry, again, is often a beautiful feature of the sickroom. Patient suffering may be finest service. It is told of Dr. Norman Macleod that on one occasion he went to pay a visit to a Sunday school scholar of his own. He found him stretched upon a sorry bed, for the lad— an invalid— was dying amid scenes of crime and destitution. Norman Macleod was not a great preacher; Norman Macleod was a great human. Stooping over the bed he said, "My poor lad, I'm afraid you're very weak." "Yes, sir," was the reply, "I'm very weak, but I'm strong in Him." The following Sunday, Dr. Macleod told that story from the pulpit. It was published in religious newspapers both in England and America. And by and by, from Scotland, England, and from far-off villages of the United States, came testimonies that the story had been blessed. Out in the High Street other lads were serving, Men and women were toiling for the Master. Here in the garret, above the crowded street was a sufferer who would never serve again. Yet, like Paul and Silas in the dungeon, he sang in his midnight because God was with him, and far away the other prisoners heard. I have heard women lamenting they were useless because they could never leave their little room. Others were out and active in the world; they were nothing but cumberers of the ground. And yet that little chamber was a Bethel, and to enter it was to feel that God was there, and through the streets one walked a better man because of that patient beautiful endurance. Never forget that among life's many ministries, the freest may be the unconscious ministry. There is an exquisite service of passivity as surely as a service of activity. When the lights are low, when the strong ones bow themselves, when the silver cord is at the point of breaking, you may be serving better than you know.
We Are All Preachers
This too is the real value of genuine and unaffected goodness. It is exercising every day a beautiful unconscious ministry. A man may forget all that his mother told him. He will never forget all that his mother was. He may lose count of all his father's counsel, but never of his father's character. It is not the things which we can utter glibly— it is often things we have no power to utter— that fall on other lives with benediction. When Sir Walter Scott was building Abbotsford in England, he put the lawn in a peculiar place. And at one corner of it he built a little summerhouse where he might sit in the evening after dinner. And he told Lockhart why he built it there; was it because the view was beautiful? not so, but that he might sit there and listen to the evening worship of his coachman. Old Peter was a real old Scottish servant. He would not have talked religion for the world. But every nightfall in the year he took The Book, and "waled a portion wi' judicious care." And then a psalm was sung, and travelling heavenward to Him who understands the Scottish reticence, Sir Walter heard it, and hearing it, was comforted. Old Peter was preaching better than he knew. He was preaching when he never thought to preach. That is what all of us are doing constantly, though we were never in a pulpit in our lives. There are Spurgeons in unlikeliest places, apostles who are cheering all the prison, and they never know that they are doing anything
The Only Thing Worth Living for
Indeed, I believe that much of our Christian service must always be of that unconscious character. When that is lacking, the other is formality. I trust that when this hurrying life is over, you and I shall each have the "Well done." That is the only thing worth living for. It is the only welcome which I want. But I have sometimes thought that if I ever hear it, one of the great surprises of the dawn will be the kind of thing for which it is given. Perhaps all these sermons at which I have daily toiled will never be mentioned in that summer morning And certain ministries of which I knew not anything as I went in and out among you in the shadows here, will waken the trumpets on the other side. Men who do their best always do more though they be haunted by the sense of failure. Be good and true; be patient; be undaunted. Leave your usefulness for God to estimate. He will see to it that you do not live in vain.

Elective Affinity

And being let go, they went to their own company— Act_4:23
After a Miracle, a Sermon, an Arrest and Release from Prison
The healing of the lame man at the Gate Beautiful of the Temple had stirred an intense excitement in Jerusalem. Like the church bell which summons people to church, it had attracted a crowd to the disciples. And Peter, who never saw a crowd but he longed for the opportunity to preach to it, began to preach— there were about five thousand gathered— and many of his hearers were converted. The priests and the captain of the Temple and the Sadducees were very indignant at this powerful doctrine. They put an arrest on Peter and John and committed them to prison for the night, and the next day they had them out and examined them on their authority for this miracle. We know how bravely and nobly Peter answered: what a change from that night of denial before Calvary! We know into what a sorry pass the council came: they threatened Peter and John, and let them go. So by the narrative of facts we reach our text, "And being let go, they went to their own company."
When We Are Released from Our Particular "Prisons"
I wish, then, to spiritualize our text, for it seems to me to be full of rich suggestion. It hints at facts which lie very near to us, and which are worthy of our observation. None of us are prisoners in a literal sense. We are not immured in the dark or damp of dungeons. The age of persecution in its barbaric forms has fled from our land of liberty forever. But for all that there are shackles which still bind us, and we are under many constraints from day to day, and it is true of us as of Peter and John that being let go, we go to our own company. Like the carrier pigeon which, freed from it cage, wheels for its bearings and then starts for home; like the mountain stream which the little child may dam but which when released goes hurrying to the sea— so all of us are subject to constraint, but being let go, we go to our own company. That is the thought on which I wish to dwell.
When Freed from Home
First, then, I think of the constraint of home. It is the earliest pressure which we know. In the years when we are climbing towards maturity, we are in the sweetest of all earth's imprisonments. We are engirded by love then and by a father's ordering. We have to yield our wills up to another's will. It is not the child who chooses or decides; it is the father and the mother who do that. But the day comes when a young man leaves home. Like Peter and John in our story, he is let go. He has to face the world now on his own resources, and the day of authority and of command is over. It is in such a time, when the restraints are gone which were the safety and the strength of home, that a man steadily goes to his own company. What were the thoughts that were smoldering and burning under the gentle but firm constraint of home? What kind of life was being lived in secret under the quiet routine and through the family worship? What sort of ideal was glimmering and forming of which the mother knew absolutely nothing? It is not their liberty that wrecks men— what we call wreck is often revelation— it is the kind of life which they have led in secret before the hour of liberty arrives. The bonds of authority are broken now. There is no will to consult but a man's own. So being let go, with many a "God bless you," and hidden tears and prayers to a father's God, for all that is noblest or for all that is poorest, men go to their own company.
The Prodigal
You know the parable of the prodigal son by heart. Did you ever think of the story in this light? I am sure you would never have guessed how vile that youth was if you had seen him living with his father. But no man becomes a prodigal in one swift hour. If he went to the harlots he had been dreaming of them. There was not a hillside and there was not a field at home but could have told stories of his unclean heart. Then came the tales of his wild life abroad, and his brother said, "I could not have believed it." But in the sight of God the riot was revelation; being let go, he went to his own company.
Example: Jesus As a Boy
And you have often read of Jesus in the Temple. Did you ever think of that story in this light? Has it not been preserved for us out of these voiceless years because of its exquisite glimpse into that boyish heart? I doubt not that, as the companies turned homeward, other sons besides Jesus were missing from the crowd, and other mothers besides Mary of Nazareth went back to Jerusalem to look for them. And one would find her son among the soldiers, and another would find her son in the bazaars; Mary alone found her son in the Temple. As naturally as the sunflower to the sun, the heart of Jesus turned to that holy place. There was nothing on earth of such concern to Him as to ask and hear about eternal things. His mother thought that her dear son was lost, and she knew not where amid the crowds to find Him; but being let go, He had gone to His own company.
When Freed from Work
Again, I think of the constraint of work. There was a little book published some time ago with the attractive title Blessed be Drudgery, and I think that most of us, as the years pass, learn gladly to subscribe to that beatitude. What moods and whimsies does our work save us from! How it steadies us and how it guards us! If it were not for that bondage of our toil, how intolerable some of us should be to live with! I have known busy men who through the week would have scorned the very suggestion that they ailed, yet somehow they often ailed on Sundays. Of course there come seasons when such bondage irritates. We have all known how difficult it is in the summertime. When the cloudless mornings come and the shimmer of heat, and we hear the calling of field and lake and river, it is not easy then with quiet heart to get to the study and the office desk. But for all that, work is a wise constraint and a happy circumscription of God's finger, a narrowing of our way with such a hedge as will blossom into beauty by and by.
Where You Go after Work Shows Your Makeup
But being let go, we go to our own company. Every evening in a great city explains that. Men are imprisoned all day in the routine, but when the evening comes, they gravitate to their own. Here are three young fellows who work at the same desk. They are fellow clerks in the same city office. You will find all of them at the desk during the day; but the question is, where will you find them at night? You will find one of them in the dancehall, that most uninspiring of all haunts. You will find one at home with his few prized books around him, superbly happy in his Shakespeare or his Stevenson. You will find one down in the mission-hall, enthusiastic over his Boys' Brigade. What is your company? Where do you gravitate? When you can follow your own sweet will, where will it lead? Say to yourself when work is done tomorrow, "Being let go, I go to my own company"— and then thank God for it, or be ashamed.
When Freed from Self lnterests
Once more, and touching on more delicate matters, I think of the constraint of our self-interest. I speak of the bondage which everybody knows and which arises from our social system. No man is free, in an intricate society, to say and do exactly what he pleases. The most uncharitable people I ever met were the people who took pride in being candid. I grant you that in the heroic nature the thought of self-interest has hardly any place. But I am not talking about heroes now; I am talking of the average man in the average Christian city. And what I say is that he is so interlocked in this great mechanism which we call society that something of the rough and vigorous and outspoken liberty which characterized our forefathers is gone. It is expensive for the average citizen to speak out his whole mind. There are accommodations and compliance's and silences that are well understood on every exchange and market. And one of the hardest tasks for any man is to keep a clean conscience and an unsullied heart while bowing to those restraints of self which society or wise self-interest demands.
But that bondage is not a perpetual bondage. All are released from it in various ways. If action be fettered, thought at least is free, nor is there any veil by the fireside at home. Or it may be that when a man has made his fortune he feels that at last he can dare to be himself, for he no longer depends for his advancement on the kindly offices of any brother. The question is what are you then? What judgements do you pass by the fireside? Are you less courteous and kindly now that you are made, than in the years when your career was making? Being let go from social entanglement and from the grim and ceaseless pressure of self-interest, steadily and silently and surely men go like the apostles to their own.
When Freed from Evil Habit and Sin
Again I think of the constraint of evil habit. One of the most arresting of Christ's miracles is the curing of the Gadarene demoniac. In his isolation and in his lonely misery the man is a type of sin's separating power. He had been very happy once in Gadara; his wife had loved him, and so had his little children. He was well thought of in his little village, and the evenings were pleasant there when work was done. Then fell on him the curse that ruined him, wrecking his intellect and all his happiness and driving him apart from those he loved until that hour when he was faced by Christ. In that great hour it was farewell to bondage. His fetters were broken and he was a man again. Fain would he have followed his deliverer and shared the fortunes of his Galilean healer. But Jesus said to him, "Go home again. Thy wife has been praying for thee and thy children love thee." So being let go from the tyranny of sin, the poor demoniac went to his own company.
And that is always one of the plagues of sin. It separates a man from his own company. We may be under the same roof as our own company, and yet be a thousand miles away from them. There is a burst of temper, and then misunderstanding, and then the pride which will never ask forgiveness— and hearts that were fashioned in eternity for one another go drifting apart like ships upon the sea. Sin separates the father from the son. Sin separates the mother from her child. From all that is ours by birthright of humanity we are barred out by the tyranny of evil. And then comes Christ and gives us spiritual freedom, rescuing us from the bondage of the years, and being let go we go to our own company. For the best is our true company and not the worst. We were made for goodness; we were not made for evil. It is love and tenderness and purity and light which are the true society of a God-created spirit. So when a man is released from sin's imprisonment by the word and present power of his Redeemer, being let go, he hastens to his own.
When Freed from the Constraint of Life
Then lastly, I think of the constraint of life, for there is a deep sense in which this life is bondage. We are the children of immortality and not of time, and here we are cribbed and cabined and confined. Nothing is perfect here, and nothing rounded. We are not built to the scale of three score years. There is no such thing as ultimate success here; the only success is not to give over striving So are we fettered and hampered and imprisoned, and the bird is beating its wings against the bars; but when death comes, the spirit is set free, and being let go, it travels to its own. Did you ever think of eternity like that? It is an arresting and an awful thought. It is far wiser to think of it like that than to go about saying you do not believe in hell. I never read that even Judas went there. I read that Judas went to his own place. Being let go by his own act of suicide, he went to his own company— the rest is silence. God grant us all such love for what is good, such kinship of heart with the brave and the pure and the lowly, such secret comradeship with all who are wrestling heavenward in the living fellowship of Jesus Christ, that when death comes and the prison doors are opened and we go to our own company at last, we may go to be forever with the Lord.

virtuous women

Pro 31:10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
Pro 31:11 The heart of her husband does safely trust in her, so that he shall have no lack of gain.
Pro 31:12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
Pro 31:13 She seeks wool, and flax, and works willingly with her hands.
Pro 31:14 She is like the merchants' ships; she brings her food from afar.
Pro 31:15 She rises also while it is yet night, and gives food to her household, and a portion to her maidservants.
Pro 31:16 She considers a field, and buys it: with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
Pro 31:17 She girds her loins with strength, and strengthens her arms.
Pro 31:18 She perceives that her merchandise is good: her lamp goes not out by night.
Pro 31:19 She lays her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle.
Pro 31:20 She stretches out her hand to the poor; yea, she reaches forth her hands to the needy.
Pro 31:21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.
Pro 31:22 She makes herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is fine linen and purple.
Pro 31:23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land.
Pro 31:24 She makes fine linen, and sells it; and delivers sashes unto the merchants.
Pro 31:25 Strength and honor are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
Pro 31:26 She opens her mouth with wisdom; and on her tongue is the law of kindness.
Pro 31:27 She looks well to the ways of her household, and eats not the bread of idleness.
Pro 31:28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.
Pro 31:29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but you excel them all.
Pro 31:30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that fears the LORD, she shall be praised.
Pro 31:31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.
Pro 19:14 House and riches are the inheritance from fathers: and a prudent wife is from the LORD.
Pro 18:22 Whosoever finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor of the LORD.
Pro 12:4 A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband

tribute to the cell leaders

the shimmer of colours on iridescent feathers
as a swan that grace the specularly refractive cascade
her placidity lulls even the stormiest of all
yet the daily orison to dilate that petite heart
is not without burden, a soughing wind in the pines
the languish she thought none knew
He has perceive it all from afar
as our mere exuberant gratitude
is all can be said
for words alone are circumscribed by semantics
yet let our thoughts and prayers go far beyond
so thank you , from the depth of our hearts...

Tribute to spikey hair

Gazing into the mirror after a night's sleep
The well manicured filamentous outgrowth has become a disgrace
Even the leaning tower of pisa looks upright in stark contrast
Armed with a blow dryer and dabbles of translucent substance
Sculping the Eiffel Tower is more than just an art
Its symmetricalness would make Pythagoras proud
While putting a hedgehog's bristles to shame
As its pinnacles reaches the heavens above
Only God knows how many there are...

dear pastor

dear pastor,
my heavy laden heart is insurmountable if not for Christ's yoke. many of times it is the subtlety, the grey area of instances that happens that might even perplex the most discrening ones. when we voiced that we are not being fed, you gently lashed that we are not to be goats but sheeps. point taken but it implicitly tells us not to raise future issues, namely complaints. sermons should never have a ring a personal agenda to it but to merely preach God's. has it come to a state where there is a need of complete submission to the leadership or when there might come a time of retailiation of the likes of Benny Hinn's "God will smite those who touch His annointed" self-righteousness. even pastors are mere mortals. do not get me wrong, for I highly reverend God's annointed but it is preposterous to suggest mere trust the leadership in blind faith when trust is earned, not enforced, by having transparent accountability. cliche is that there is always the hard line to draw between transparency and the need not to stumble fellow brother akin to "i'll pray about it" attitude which never gets anywhere far, but I believe admitting our fallibility and frailty demonstrates God's grace and mercy abounds. "when I was a child, I talked like a child, I reasoned like a child. when I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face." putting critism aside, time and time again, the teaching never gets beyond milk when we long for meat for most of us had put our childish ways behind. why should there be a dinstinction between christian education and sunday sermons is beyond me. have sermons being diluted to more inspirational speaking rather than teaching the Word of God? more disturbing is that fact that you told a sick person to repent of their sins, and needs to be under a pastorial covering. Eliphaz the Temanite was rebuked by the Lord, even though he and his friends tries to be so theological sound and correct towards Job. no doubt, some form Word-Faith Movement had been absorbed and nothing but great discernment is needed to uncover the subtlety of wolves in sheeps' clothing.
dear pastor,
I have nothing but great admiration for you. Yet there is no need for defence or self-justification if God is with you, who can be against you? However, if it is not of God, no matter how much sound arguments, it will be no more than gongs and cymbals. forgive me for any hurts inflicted for I too am a mere mortal but I once heard that God does not waste the hurts if we let him write His story with our lives...

Romans 14 - the weak and the strong

Is the strength of our faith comparable to the magnitude of our faith? Jesus told us in Matthew 17:19-20 that faith of a mustard seed…can move mountains. However, Paul in Romans 14 states that we should be considerate to fellow brothers who are weak in faith. Those weaker in faith described here were more so governed by one’s conscience of religiously following sets of rules and principles to live by. They have yet to really understand the religious liberation that Christ brought. However, those with stronger faith need to act with discernment in regards not to stumble those who follow religiously as they too, are earnest in seeking piousness. With the little faith they have, the weak can become strong. Those stronger in Christ should continue to encourage until those weaker in faith would realize the ultimate triumph of Christ above all. Religious piety would only get them that far but when that border crossing happens it will be as though a veil has been opened and the scales on the eyes fallen. Hence, grace and mercy abounds as we do all things in faith and confidence in our God, not dwelling on doubts, for all faithless matters is sin.

Romans 13 - submissiveness to authority

Submissiveness was neither a favorite nor popular virtue when it comes to authorities. Probably a more inclined disposition towards authorities would be respect, or worse fear. Submissiveness embodied meekness and obedience, similar traits towards God. However, authorities pose problem when our views start clashing with the other. But Paul stated that God instituted the authority. Without God’s authority, the earthly authorities will not command any worthy authority. Do not get me wrong, people in authority may wronged you but remember that Paul plead to us not to take revenge, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written, “It is mine to avenge; I will repay”. [Deut 32:35] Yet again, it does not mean that we do nothing about it and let such evil overpower us. We are not to be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. Truth to be told, our logic and fear will be the likeliest to guide the proportion of laws or rules that we break. Our deductive ability will determine the severity of a crime mostly from an economic framework. Say I over sped and realized a $50 fine. Not much if I must say so myself and I could even justified a few more tickets. But say a slap of $500 would definitely get me thinking. Hence the need to submit to authorities not only due to punishment but also because of conscience of the mind that I have wronged, not matter what. Obedience [to God] is better than sacrifice. [1 Sam 15:22]

doxology

o, the depth of the riches both of wisdom and knowledge of God. how unsearchable his judgements, and His ways past finding out. for who has known the mind of the Lord, or who became His counselor? or who has ever given to God, that God should repay Him? for from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. to Him to be the glory forever. romans 11:33

PDF Footer Remove

Upgraded version of PDF Footer Remove. It will now output new footer free PDFs to a 'output' directory and also a 'error.txt' file for any PDFs that are not being able to be processed.
Get it here:
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PDF Footer Remove

PDF format are obnoxiously hard to be modified. PDF software are not as flexible either. the best breed i'd come across is PDF Editor. that said, its search and replace function couldn't detect the wordings of a PDF's header and footer, which is pretty frustrating if you have to manually remove each page's. so i decided to write my own and found out that the text of the footer is actually a text element encapsulated in a form element, which a normal search could not find. crude as it is, PDF Footer Remove will remove most footer of the PDFs. pretty unuser-friendly, if i must say so myself, but it gets the job done. it will batch process all the *.pdf in the same directory as the executable and output footer-free *.pdf.pdf. if there are enough requests, i might refine the program. anyway, here it is. http://www.downloadtaxi.com/d/1136527589/PDF_Footer_Remove.zip